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I Tried the Master Cleanse and It Was a Spectacular Fail

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Water. Lemons. Maple syrup. Cayenne pepper.

If you ever needed to lose weight quick, fast and in a hurry, you likely know what that means. For the uninitiated, these four ingredients are needed to make the infamous Master Cleanse lemonade. This diet has been around since 1940 and was created by Stanley Burroughs. It has also been dubbed the Lemonade Diet and also the Beyoncé Diet because Queen Bey herself made it popular again when she used it to lose weight for Dreamgirls.

Photo source: Maple Valley Syrup

Photo source: Maple Valley Syrup

 

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The Unexpected Consequences 
of Motherhood

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Motherhood changes everything. If you don’t agree, you’re doing it wrong (just kidding, or am I?). Here are a few thoughts I’d share with my daughter if she were old enough to understand.

I’ve turned into a bit of a stalker and I regularly watch you sleep.

Unlike a dog, I sniff your butt not to be friendly, but to determine if your diaper needs changing.

Though I love hanging out with you, I have never derived so much joy from seeing another person take a nap (because you’re exhausting).

I used to live an extremely healthy existence where my lifestyle had names like vegan, vegetarian and Paleo. Now I’m a scavenger who mostly subsists on your leftover toddler scraps.

While I previously needed a minimum of half an hour to get ready, I can now shower and be dressed in about 5 minutes. Getting you ready is another story.

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No, No, No

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Maya and I were taking a morning walk around the neighborhood when she saw something she wanted on the sidewalk. It was a chewed up plastic hair barrette, and I didn’t think it was safe for her to have. I grabbed one piece from her, but she closed her tiny hand on to the other half so I couldn’t get to it. “NONONONONONONONONONONONO,” she screamed at me and my parenting attempt.

The dreaded day had come, my toddler learned how to say no.

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Hello, Autumn

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Summer ends in just a little over a week (September 23rd to be exact), so it’s time again for falling leaves and long sleeves.

I had never heard of it, but autumn anxiety is really a thing. You’re not alone if the changing of seasons gives you a little bit of stress.

Pollen is out, but ragweed and mold will soon be in. Take care of yourselves, allergy sufferers!

If you’re a fan of a certain orange gourd, it’s not the time of year where you can get all pumpkin spice everything.

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Decoding Car Seat Safety Guidelines

My daughter is at that age where she’s growing out of her infant/toddler car seat, and I need to upgrade her to a new seat. I’m fairly new to this car safety thing and an informal poll of my family and friends has left me even more confused. Ask five different people, and you’ll get five different answers about when a child needs a booster seat, when their seat can be front-facing and when they no longer need to ride in the back seat.

I read through the government standards, and there was a lot of information to digest. Here are some helpful tips and information if you don’t know where to start:

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Change and Growth

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I like to think writing is one of the few professions that gets harder the longer you do it. Sure, you get better and gain more experience over time, but it also becomes harder to keep things fresh and consistent.

The challenge I face as a writer is much like the one I face as a mom. You become more confident and capable the longer you parent, but new challenges pop up to test your seniority. And boy, have I been tested lately.

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Weekly Parenting Roundup

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Happy Friday, everyone! Here are some of the interesting things going on in the world of parenting this week: enjoy!

School is back in session for most kiddies, so here is a list of 30 Questions to Ask Your Kid Instead of “How Was Your Day?” #22 is very thought provoking!

As an added bonus, you can chat while making these fun after-school snacks.

Yikes! Our kids may be getting too much homework and it’s stressing the whole family out.

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